I've escaped the house. In my own neighborhood. It's
dark. I'm running down the street that leads out of the neighborhood. I'm almost to the stoplight. I spin around. Which way do I go? I'm bleeding from somewhere. I'm terrified. A
car is coming up behind me, a dark SUV. I wave it down. It's a girl driving. I
shout to her that I'm in trouble and could she please take me to the police
station. She lets me in. I apologize for how strange it must be and thank her. As she starts driving she
says "Don't thank me yet," and smiles cruelly at me. A sharp pain in my arm. A needle? I pass out. When
I wake up I'm in a sedan. A different girl is driving. It's daytime and we're in a desert. Traffic is crawling. Stop and go. Stop
and go. The door is locked. Childlocks. I'm not wearing a seatbelt. I press the button to roll down the
window. Maybe that can be my escape. It's locked. I look to the girl and beg of
her. Just a little air. As she glances down at the controls I lunge across her and
hit the childlock button. I fall back to my own seat and open my
door. I jump out. The sun is glaring.
The car behind the one I was in pulls into the shoulder. It's the dark SUV. She looks angry.
There is someone in the passenger seat too. Equally as angry. I start running down the shoulder in the opposite direction. I
glance behind me to see if anyone is following. I see my mom driving! She sees
me too. I run to her car and get in, and lock the doors. She starts crying because she
is so happy to see me. They've all been looking for me, she says. How long was
I captive? How long was a tortured? She sees the scars, scabs, and bruises on my arms and legs. I tell her we're being chased, she needs to get out of traffic. She
floors it down the shoulder until a smooth dirt road appears to the right. She
takes it. We're in the desert still. Where does this road go? I don't notice anyone
following us.
No. I've been here before. I recognize this place. The theme
park in the middle of nowhere. "This place?!" I scream at her.
"You know I've had dreams about this place," and she does know. [The
first dream was good and the rides were fast. I was happy. The next
dream, terrorists on a train massacred everyone. The next dream is was a ghost
town. Empty. Dusty. Dank. Misty. Ghosts. The next time parts were open again
but it was scary. Not safe.] She thinks we will be safe now that it's all open
again. This is my place. I control it, she thinks. We go inside, where just
through the gates there is a food court. A fat Mexican man with a carnival
mustache and red and white striped chef's hat offers me a sample. He holds up
his tray which has two holes. On the right there is a sample in the hole but
the words above it are in Spanish. I don't know what they say. The words on the
left are in English but the sample has already been taken. I tell him no thank
you.
Where is mom? She's getting food. I need to leave. It's not
right here. It's not right. It's not safe. Her! She's staring at me. Another
one of the girls. They all look similar. Pretty. So pretty. Wavy hair, perfect
makeup, perfect clothes, perfect shoes and accessories. Perfect smiles. I sit
down at a table. Two of the girls sit with me. At the table next to us 3 more
girls sit, and one boy. Who is the boy? The girls are teasing me. Trying to
take my things. Are these my things? Where did this come from? I must protect
them, they are mine. A laptop bag. A red binder with papers inside. And a black zippered soft case. They
pull at everything, jeering and laughing. One of them stands up as I pull the
stuff close to myself. Enough!
I stand up, knocking my chair back, and slap her hard across
the face. I unleash a stream of profanity, that fucking bitch. Fuck. Bitch.
Cunt. "Leave me the fuck alone, what do you cunts want from me?!??!? Come
on, fight me you little bitch, fuck you, fuck all of you, what do want?!" and I punch her as hard as I can in the throat.
She collapses on the floor. She didn't fight back at all. There is that pain again in my arm.
I'm at a friend's house now. We're sitting on his bed. His
bedroom is on the first floor in the front of the house with windows facing the
front yard. It's bright outside. Transparent white curtains float over the windows. He doesn't
believe what is happening. He asks if I'm ok emotionally and if I've thought
about hurting myself. If I've done drugs or drank recently. He think I'm making
things up. Hallucinating. Why won't he believe me? I tell him again and again they are trying
to steal my things, that they want to catch me again and rape me. He smirks and
rolls his eyes, and tells me to calm down. A knock on the front door. Panic. My
heart jumps into my throat and my stomach twists. Now he is in danger too. At
the window stands the 5 girls, like ghosts through the curtain, and the boy
is at the door.
I beg. I plead. Don't open the door. He says it's a
misunderstanding on my part. He lets them in. He comes back around the bed next
to me and puts his hand around my shoulders. They just want to play a while, he
says. Play? They all stand around the bed. He puts a zip tie around my wrist
and the bedpost. No!! He says it's ok. I tell him no, they'll hurt me, the boy
is going to rape me! He steps back and pulls down on the collar of his tshirt
to show me marks. Scratches and bruises. "It's not that bad," he
assures me. "You'll enjoy it eventually."
